How To Date a Cougar

Back in the caveman days, men were the hunters while women took care of the dens.  While searching for food in the dangerous terrain, men had to face countless threats from deadly poisonous plants to ferocious animals.  The saber-toothed tiger was the most feared creature: its predatory talent made it an instinctive and silent killer.  If you spotted one, it was already too late.  Few escaped the claws of this long toothed feline.

Today, society is a bit different.  We can cultivate food instead of searching for it.  Stressful traffic takes the place of dangerous creatures – buildings instead of terrain.  The remnants of threatening reptiles that swooped on human prey are barely visible in its feathered offspring.  Instead of running from pterodactyls we only have to deal with pesky pigeons.

It’s a great time for the most part.  However, there is one deadly animal that remains – the successor to the feared saber tooth.  We know it by the name of Cougar!  Not the feline kind that sneaks through the woods and mountains, but the kind that hunts young men.

Ok, so I’m being a bit dramatic.  But if you’ve been in the dating scene in the last couple of years you have probably noticed a new trend: older women dating younger men.  Celebrities are getting into this habit as well, most notably Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore.  A show on television is even named for this fad.

Men, if you have been trying to date, you are well aware that girls are tough nuts to crack.  You have to impress them by being amiable but not too happy, chatty but not effusive, kind but not a pushover.  Once you have her attention, you have to romance her, constantly trying not to slip.   All this effort for seemingly little reward.

If you are growing tired of being the assertive one, then there is another route you can take.  Older women have experience, intelligence, and most of all a higher libido. They tend to be financially responsible and are realistic. They’ve been through it all so usually don’t expect to find Mr. Right.  Instead, they are searching for Mr. Right Now – which could be you.

Dating a cougar is easy.  Older women are inundated with media that shows younger and younger women.  Youth is associated with smooth skin and perfect looks, and both of these qualities typically fade with age.  Although you shouldn’t take advantage of anyone, cougars (to be perfectly honest) often lower their standards when looking for a mate.  That’s good news for you!

To date a cougar, you need to learn to be cougar-prey.  Cougars aren’t often interested in romance – they want instant satisfaction.  This translates into appearance.  Think Jersey Shore or Ed Hardy.  Anything flashy and tight will do.  Cougars usually love physical pleasure.  Since their youth is behind them, they are searching for something to remind them of the vitality they once possessed.  Get in shape and make sure you have a nice six pack to wow them with.

After you have your body and fashion squared away, you need to put yourself into as many cougar dens as possible.  There are singles clubs specifically designated for Cougars.  You may have to ask around but there should be a few in the area.  The great thing about Cougars is that you are the bait.  When you visit a club, women will be buying you drinks and hitting on you – it’s a nice change of pace.

Whatever you do, never get emotionally attached to a Cougar.  They are fun, but they are not looking for commitment.  Be safe and careful, because Cougars bite!