How Do You Know If You’re Spoiling Your Children?

As a parent, you might wonder if you’re spoiling your children. Is spoiling your children even something that you should be worried about? Well, yes and no. A small amount of spoiling can never hurt, but if you suspect you may be going too far, its important to take steps to fix things as soon as you realize that a problem exists. Here’s how…

What is true is that children learn behavior at a very young age. If your children learn early on that they can whine and throw a tantrum and end up getting what they want, they’ll continue to do that, even into their adult years. If kids are taught that they can always have whatever they ask for without working for it, they’ll develop an overblown sense of entitlement (resulting in more tantrums if denied).

The parental – and grand-parental – behaviors that result in raising a spoiled child can be hard to curb completely, but even in bad cases the sooner the change is made, the better.

Basically, spoiling children can start as soon as they’re old enough to know that they can manipulate adults to get what they want. For some children, this is as early as six months old! A classic example is the mother who can’t leave her baby to cry him or herself to sleep. By fussing over the baby each time he so much as makes a sound, the baby will quickly learn that crying produces an adult to soothe it – and that the louder they cry, the quicker the adult will appear. 

While this parental attentiveness is not harmful to babies (as they are too small to feed or fend for themselves), the same behavior (crying, whining, then eventually nagging!) can continue into adolescence and young adulthood if not checked. If you give your child candy… or a new cellphone… or a credit card… every time they make a fuss about wanting something, they’ll never learn to work for it themselves, and will become attached to you throughout their lives, never quite able to ‘cut the cord’ and stand on their own two feet.

If parents and grandparents start spoiling children this early, those children are going to learn undesirable, unhelpful behaviors. Just because they act like spoiled kids, though, doesn’t mean they can never change! Always remember that with the right behaviors and correction, children can learn to become the responsible, reasonable, and grateful kids they should have been in the first place.