How to Be a Good Father

With Father’s Day around the corner it’s time to reflect on your parenting skills so that your kids will get you that new electric razor or Apple product you’ve been asking about all year.  That’s what being a dad is all about, right?

What is the point of being a parent then?  You had to change dirty diapers for years, help with homework, give rides to baseball practice, wake up in the middle of the night to spoon feed another teaspoon of NyQuil Cold and Flu, and work two jobs to pay for your family’s bills.  All this and you get only one short day per year of appreciation, where your kids buy you an unflattering tie with your money.  (For those of you without kids – sounds like fun doesn’t it?).

Despite all of this, you put up with the hassle because, well, you love those pesky rascals of yours and you want the best possible future for them.  Here’s how to be the best father you can be.

5. Be Firm

When true discipline is instilled in a young person, they carry it with them all of their lives.  A disciplined person is patient, selfless, and caring.  A father expresses his authority by being firm in his decisions and rules.

Being firm may mean you have to be the bad guy once in a while.  You must hold your children accountable for their actions so they learn how to evaluate themselves in future decisions.  It fosters self-confidence along with self-evaluation.

4. But not too Firm

Firm does not mean abusive.  It’s easy to mislabel repression for firm leadership.  Use punishment as a tool to help your child understand the poor decisions they have made, not a means to exploit your strength as a father.

Remember that you have an entirely different grasp of reality than your children.  Let them make mistakes and guide them towards the right path.  Don’t force your children to be something they’re not.

3. Lead by Example

“Do what I say, not what I do” is the catchphrase of hypocrisy.  Your actions are much stronger than your words, so if you want your children to grow up with certain values, you must emulate those characteristics yourself.

Your children are smart and they will catch on quickly if you try to misdirect them.  Show them the respect and love they deserve by instilling principles you want them to follow in yourself.

2. Be Open Minded

You may want your child to follow in your footsteps, but more often than not, they will have their own distinct goals and viewpoints that may be polar opposites of yours.  This is the wonderful thing about the human spirit – it cannot be contained.  If your child makes decisions you disagree with, express your concern but in the end, let them live their life.

A loving father is a trusting father.  If you let your children make his or her own decisions and experience the full range of risks and rewards that come along with them, you are showing respect and faith in their character – the one you helped build.

1. Make Mistakes

Men are filled with pride, and becoming a dad doesn’t change that.  Don’t let your ego get in the way of parenting.  Everyone is fallible, including you.  Despite what we tell ourselves every day, we are not perfect individuals (although I tell my girlfriend that I come close). 

Instead of thinking that you have let someone down if you make a mistake, use it as an example to show your children that it’s okay to fall down sometimes, and seek to repair the situation.  The way you approach a situation after you make a mistake is what really counts.

Article by:

K.W.