How to Deal With Jealousy if You Feel Your Baby Prefers the Nanny

Many parents work hard to balance busy careers with the joys of raising children.  Often, in order to meet the demands of work and home, help is needed.  When hiring a nanny to help provide proper care for your baby, they can be a wonderful help and may become a part of the family.  In some cases, though, the baby will form a powerful bond with the nanny, which can lead to some emotional issues for the parents. 

If you think your child might favor the nanny, there are some easy ways to deal with this rather natural progression of attachment. 

Dealing with Jealousy Before It Gets Out of Hand

Working mothers will be faced with a more significant amount of jealousy or anxiety over the relationship their baby has with the nanny.  The reality is, when you want to maintain a career, you will need help with childcare.  Even when you find someone you can trust, it can be an emotionally difficult time for a new mother.  Returning back to work can lead to an intense bond with the nanny for your baby, which can cause serious anxiety for Mom. 

Instead of ignoring issues or stress that might come up for either parent, it’s always best to deal with it openly. 

Common Baby Mistakes

One of the most common issues parents will deal with is the baby calling the nanny “mommy” or “daddy” by mistake.  This can create a lot of jealousy and hard feelings, which can easily be avoided.  First, it’s important to look at the situation from the right perspective.  Your child is only learning to form words and it can be confusing to them that not every woman is named “mommy”. 

Also, remember that your nanny must be creating a wonderfully loving relationship with your baby for him or her to have grown this attached, which is something to be grateful for.  Having found someone your child loves is a challenge and if they are comfortable with their childcare provider, it is a very good thing.

Maintain a Strong Connection with Your Baby

Even with a busy career, you can find time to keep the bond you have with your child strong.  When you notice signs of a strong bond with the nanny, it might be a good time to plan some one-on-one time with your baby.  Having a regular ‘playdate’ with your child will show him or her what your priorities are, and will allow you to keep the strong bond you want. 

Even something as simple as reading bedtime stories every night can show your baby just how important he or she is to you.  Even though there may still be feelings of jealousy towards the nanny because of how much time is spent with your child, maintaining a strong bond between parent and child is easy if you can devote regular time to your child.

Balancing parenthood and a career can be tough.  With a little work, you can avoid the feelings of jealousy or resentment that can surface when a nanny is involved in childcare.   Since your baby’s welfare is the most important thing, it’s best to remember the root of your feelings before reacting too harshly.