How to Heal Family Wounds and Reduce Conflict in Your Home

Most families, even the most well-adjusted, have internal conflict from time to time.  When that conflict burns out of control, entire families can dissolve in the aftermath.  If you have a family with old wounds that need healing, you might finally be ready to step up and start the rejuvenation process.  If you can’t afford to or don’t want to go to family counseling, you may be able to kickstart the healing process yourself.

The first thing that you need to do is to realize that you want to reconnect with the family.  Take a risk and be the one that reaches out.  You might find that your family members have been thinking the same thing, but didn’t know how to approach you.

Of course, it isn’t as simple as visiting one another and talking it out.  You have to get to the root of the problem, and that may not be possible while you (or other families) are harboring old resentment.  Identify what caused the problem in the first place, and talk through what the problem was or still is.  This isn’t a time to lay blame or shout, but to simply let everyone understand your feelings about the situation, and for you to understand and listen to theirs.

Try your best to think about the positive aspects of dealing with these old wounds.  Keep in mind that your family members aren’t perfect and neither are you.  Realize that everyone has shortcomings and that you can still remain a tight-knit family in spite of them.  Realize that you can all move beyond the issue if you choose to do so.  

If apologies are needed on either side of the table, take a humble position and give them where they are needed.  Even if you are not in the wrong, you can apologize for hurting someone without meaning to.  When confronting someone, avoid using the word, “you,” which sounds accusatory and will put them on the defense.

Perhaps you aren’t yet ready to forgive the sins.  You might still need time to get over the issue and heal, if you ever do.  When you are ready, the preceding tips should help you deal with your family issues and mend torn hearts.