Insider Tips on How to Ask Out the Man of Your Dreams

If you talk to any man, they’ll tell you that they think men are easy to ask out and that it’s asking a woman out that is the tough part. Women will usually tell you the opposite. Speaking from a man’s point of view, I’ve had plenty of interesting experiences when asking a woman out, or should I say, in the fine art of rejection.

Either way, I want to relay my experience as a male and give you some insider tips on the best ways to ask out a guy.

 
Out of the many times I’ve asked someone on a date, I’ve only been asked out a few times by women. I’m assuming (and hoping) that this is because for the most part, women are scared of rejection or feel it’s inappropriate to switch traditional roles. But for the new generation, it’s becoming more common for a woman to take the reins and ask out a guy. 

We know you’re a busy person that knows what she wants, so why wait around for the man of your dreams to take action when you have the power to make things happen by yourself? Here are a few tips to help you ask out a guy:

1. Approach Them First
When guys approach women at a club or bar, it can seem creepy and uncomfortable to the woman if she’s not interested. When women approach men it is usually seen as flattering – no guy is creeped out by being approached by a woman. Even if we’re not that into you, any woman approaching us first makes us look good in front of our mates. We love it!

It’s worth mentioning that men have the natural urge to maintain the conversation, so when you want to ask out a guy, all you have to do it get close to them and break the ice, then sit back and then let them do all the work.  Try it! 

2. How To Break the Ice

There are many ways to approach a guy, but usually the simplest is the best. Ready for the ‘best approach’ secret? Here it is: walk up to him, extend your hand and say, “Hi I’m (insert name).” More than 90% of the time he will respond back with his name and a question like, “So, do you come here often?”  

Don’t be put off if your initial conversation is a little stilted and even clichéd. Anything you talk about after getting comfortable with each other will be exciting, since you are meeting for the first time. With this step, if you guys click, he’ll be the one to ask you out!
 
3. Drop Big HintsIn theory, you won’t need to ask out the guy because if he likes you, he will do it for you. The thing about guys is that we usually can’t tell if a girl is flirting or if she is just being nice and trying not to offend us. You need to drop big hints that you are interested too so that we will feel more confident about asking you out. Guys don’t like to ask out a girl for the same reasons you don’t like to ask out guys: it’s scary! Rejection is tough on us, too, whether we’re meeting you for the first time at a bar or through a dating site. 

If we feel for sure that a girl will say yes, then we are more likely to take the next step and ask you out. If you’re afraid of being too obvious, then start off with small flirtations to see if you get a response.  For example, compliment something about him – his hair, clothes, or cologne. If he’s interested, he’ll compliment you back. You can step it up from there. Have fun and enjoy the conversation!

4. Be Upfront

Being upfront is probably the best and quickest way to ask out a guy.  Most of the time a guy will only say no if he is in a relationship, or even if he’s not, he will probably say he is as an excuse. This probably isn’t what you want to hear, but it’s the truth.

The point is to not be afraid of rejection because when you ask out a guy, you have very little chance of being told to your face that the guy is not interested.  Trust me, he wants to save face just as much as you do, and any guy who tells you directly to take a hike after being asked out by you is absolutely not worth dating in the first place.

5. Don’t Force Things

One of the worst things to do when you ask out some body is to force a conversation or try to be fake to ‘fit in’.  One liners and showing off never ever ever work. (Even if they did, you wouldn’t want to go out with someone who would fall for it!).  So many guys make the mistake of trying to be funny or smart when they first meet a girl, when it is plainly obvious that they are neither.

Just be yourself and let the conversation flow.  If you want to talk about the weather when you ask a guy out, talk about the weather!  Don’t try to act cool to impress his family or friends, it just tend to come off as nervousness or pretentiousness.  When you ask out a guy, or when talking to a guy in general, don’t be afraid of silence.  He is as nervous as you are, so let him do the work! 

6. Loosen Up

Before you ask out a guy, take a deep breath or two (or a stiff drink if you’re in a bar!) and you’ll feel much more relaxed. The hardest part when you ask out a guy is getting up the nerve to approach him.  After the hard part is over it’s all easy sailing.  You can loosen up before you ask out a guy by dancing, talking to other people, or pretty much anything that makes you feel a bit more comfortable.

The fear of rejection is what stops most girls before they even ask out a guy.  Don’t let the fear of what might happen make you end what could be a wonderful romance before it has even begun.  Understand that for the most part, when you ask out a guy, they won’t reject you because they will be flattered just to be asked. Plus, they know how hard it is to ask out a girl, so they will have respect for you for Day One for being so brave.