Top 5 Worst Places to Get a Tattoo on Your Body

Of all the bad decisions a person can make, getting a permanent tattoo in the wrong spot is up there on the list.  Avoid living in regret (and a turtleneck) by not getting a tattoo in these five worst spots.


5. Neck


I have yet to meet anyone with a neck tattoo that hasn’t been or isn’t currently incarcerated.  Although there isn’t a direct correlation between felons and neck tattoos, it doesn’t necessarily scream ‘model citizen’.  If you ever want to get hired in any field outside of industrial mechanics or art, avoid inking your neck.


4. Chest


Where you get your tattoo says a lot about who you are as a person.  Some outgoing people who insist on pushing the limits elect to get a tattoo on their chest – both male and female.  This may sound like a good dare during a drunken night with the guys but anytime you wake up in the morning with throbbing mammaries, you did something wrong.  If you don’t run in horror at the sight of a needle heading towards your nipples, then you have much more things to worry about then a bad tattoo.


3. Palm of Your Hand


The palm of your hand isn’t necessarily a bad place to get a tattoo, but it is one of the most painful experiences one can have.  As a result, most people who want to get a tattoo on their hands end up regretting it – as one of my friends told me the story behind his.  He got drunk (as is the case with most bad decisions) and decided to head to a tattoo parlor to get a face tattooed on his palm.  I asked him why they only drew in half – he said he had to stop because it hurt too much, even after a few extra shots of whiskey.  After all that he only ends up with a half decent bar story.


2. Lower Back


Anything that is known colloquially as a ‘tramp stamp’ can never be good.  During one ‘people watching’ adventure in Venice Beach, California, I spotted over a dozen of these tattoos going past in a five minute time span.  Put simply, if you get a lower back tattoo you are projecting to the world that you are easy to hit on.  You might as well hold up a sign that says ‘take advantage of me now’.


The only thing that’s worse than a woman with a tramp stamp is a man with one.  For the love of all that is right in this world, if you are a man looking to get a lower back tattoo, seek professional help.  And don’t get drink again until you have done so.


1. Face


Lil’ Wayne can pull it off – you can’t.  Let me repeat: you cannot pull off a face tattoo.  Even Mike Tyson, one of the toughest men alive can’t get away with inking his face without getting ripped into in Celebrity Roast shows.  Unless you are a woman getting permanent make up like eyebrows or lip color, keep the needle away from your face!


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