How to Help a Friend Stop Smoking

College was an experimental time for me, as it is for most people.  I maintained as much of my integrity as I could at that point in my life but understandably had a few vices.  My drinking habits were probably the most impacted as I constantly tested the limits of my inebriation.  However that was not the worst problem I faced. 

All of my buddies would smoke cigarettes when socializing, and buy them at the liquor store when we all went out together.  I took it upon myself to pick up this habit, and before I knew it I turned into a chimney. 

I wrote this article from the point of view of a smoker, to help you understand how and why you should help us quit.  Here are a few inside secrets.

Why We Smoke

Cigarettes are cool-looking and satisfying at first, but soon became dangerously addictive.  It’s odd how a person can get hooked on a poison, but that’s what exactly cigarettes are created and marketed to do.  The look of them, the feel of them, the smell of tobacco, and of course that cool, delicious rush – it’s unbeatable.

My friends would use various tactics over the years to persuade me to stop smoking but nothing worked.  Finally after months of prodding, I was convinced to quit.  I can thank them for pretty much saving my life. 

However, being addicted to nicotine is an ongoing struggle that I still battle with today.  When times are hard and I get stressed I usually pick up a pack to calm my nerves.  It’s a constant battle, but knowing my friends are there to support me helps keep me on track. 

If you want to help your friend stop smoking, perhaps you can use advice from my past.

How to Help a Friend Quit Smoking

No one likes to be looked down upon.  Teasing, blaming, emotionally blackmailing, or reproaching your friend will do more harm than good.  I once had a friend who would snatch the cigarette out of my mouth every time I’d go to inhale.  His intentions may have been good, but I felt he was infringing upon my rights and embarrassing me in front of others.  Instead of wanting to quit, I just grew angry at him for wasting my money and disrespecting my own personal decisions.

Try to encourage your friend to quit rather than force them.  Most people that smoke know perfectly well about the consequences of cigarettes.  Even though I knew these cancer sticks cause more deaths than car crashes, heart attacks, and natural disasters combined, I would still smoke them.  The addictive power of nicotine has an incredibly strong hold on people.

Understanding the Addiction

If you’ve never been addicted to anything, it’s hard to understand what it feels like to go through withdrawal from that drug.  Yes, nicotine is a drug, and it’s been said by many people more adventurous than myself, that giving up nicotine is harder than kicking a cocaine habit. 

Be patient when trying to get your friend to quit – it takes a lot of effort and time.  He or she may take a step (or in my case, multiple steps) backwards but try to maintain a positive outlook.

A smoker loves cigarettes because it brings them comfort, relaxation, and relief.  If you stand in the way of a smoker and his cigarette, it’s easy to become the enemy.  Even if deep down inside they know you care about them, the fact that you are taking away something they enjoy can make them angry or irritated.  Sometimes you have to ingrain it in their head that you are acting out of love.

Define Your Reasons for Wanting Them to Quit

Be frank with your friend about the reason you want him or her to stop smoking.  The reason you want your friend to quit is so they can be healthy.  Make sure you let them know you are coming from a place of love and caring.  Don’t scold, ridicule, point your finger or nag.  If you didn’t care about them, you wouldn’t mind what decisions they make, but express your concerns in a positive rather than a negative way if you want them to listen.

Also, remind them gently that second hand smoke is a killer.  If you have young children or pets in your home, the issue may be bigger than just them, and they should at the very least be aware of this.  As a smoker, I would sacrifice my cigarettes to save someone else’s life.  However I often forget about the consequences of second hand smoke.  Remind your friend of the dangers of second hand smoke in a subtle way, but in the end it must be their decision.

The Bottom Line

In reality, a smoker will only quit if they decide to.  You can only support and encourage them to stop this destructive habit.  Try not to feel guilty if you fail to persuade your friend to quit because ultimately it is up to them.