Why Men Hate Cuddling

Men don’t necessarily hate cuddling.  We just hate when it doesn’t lead to anything more.  The best analogy I can give is if you are hungry and you walk by a bakery that is displaying the most beautiful strawberry covered cream-cheese cake you have ever seen.  The baker invites you in to look at, smell, and touch his creation and just when you are about to take a bite, he stops you.

Where a women could appreciate the creativity and time it took to prepare and bake the cake, men are only concerned with indulging themselves in gluttonous bliss.  In a sense, we want to have our cake and eat it too.

To understand why men can’t enjoy the connection you get from simply cuddling, you have to understand how our mind works.  We are hardwired more to get satisfaction from the senses.  We take pleasure in the visual and visceral.  That’s the reason men enjoy big CGI action flicks in 3D with wraparound sound, and women appreciate subtle romantic comedies.  Some stereotypes do in fact come from evolution.

Now just because men are hardwired to enjoy physical stimulation doesn’t make it a hard written gender rule.  Men may have a higher propensity towards the corporeal and carnal, but they can still appreciate the emotional.

As you know, most men can jump straight into sex, whether it be in the privacy of your own home or in public.  We know no bounds.  Women, on the other hand, typically need to warm themselves up in order to get in the mood.  Where men prefer a visual stimulus in the likes of Playboy, women would much rather read an engaging romantic novel.

Women get satisfaction from being emotionally connected, men from more somatic experiences.  Understanding that men are actually biologically tuned to a different note than yours can help you identify with their needs. 

However, this doesn’t mean that all is lost.

To reiterate, men don’t in fact hate cuddling or emotional connection for that matter.  Men can appreciate sensual affection, but I guess you could say we are not evolved enough to appreciate the emotional satisfaction without physical action.

So how do you get your man to cuddle?  The most effective way is to cuddle after the deed is done… well, if he doesn’t fall asleep on you.  If he is physically satisfied, he will be more receptive to satisfying you emotionally.   I know, this probably isn’t then answer you wanted but it is the truth.

If you don’t want to compromise when it comes to cuddling, there are some ways to make it happen.  Connect cuddling with positive reinforcement.  If cuddling never leads to what he wants, he is likely to look at it with a negative attitude. 

If he really despises cuddling, you should not be afraid to openly bargain with him and trade cuddling with something he likes to do.  If he cuddles with you tonight, then let him know tomorrow you will make him breakfast, or see that movie he wants to watch instead of the one you wanted to. 

When it comes down to it, you want to try your best to make the relationship fun for both of you.  Both sexes can appreciate that!

Article by:

K.W.