How to Be a Great Step Mom

If you’ve recently gotten married and found yourself in the brand new role of step-mom, the new chapter in your life can be intimidating.  However, there are many ways you can better fit into the role as you adjust to a new family dynamic.

 

Don’t Try to Replace Their Mother

 

One thing that is important to make the children understand is that you are not ever going to replace their mother.  You should understand this yourself, too.  Even if you are the only mother figure in their lives, your role as a step-mom will be different from that of a natural mother, especially at first. 

 

Be Their Friend First

 

Take some time to think about how you can be a positive influence on each child’s lives, and help them cope with the new lifestyle at home.  Get one-on-one time with each of the children and listen to how they feel about things changing.  Be their friend, not their new mother, and have fun with them at home.  Play games, watch them play sports, and encourage them with who they are as an individual.

 

Balance Discipline and Reward

 

Another thing to consider is that your role as a parent means that you have to find balance with discipline.  You want to ensure that you aren’t always the one to say no in the household, but you also can’t spoil them rotten every time you go to the toy store.  Being overly permissive is one of the biggest ‘new step-mom’ mistakes that you can make, which should be avoided if you want the children to respect you and your decisions.  Part of being a step-mom is finding the boundaries and ensuring that they are established.

 

Encourage Open Communication

 

As a new step-mom, you also want to encourage communication between the families.  If your husband’s ex is still in the picture, work to communicate with her regularly.  Ensure that any rewards or punishments are agreed on by both households, and work on taking an active role in the children’s lives. 

 

Being a step-mom is anything but simple, but you can make it easier by creating a healthy dynamic.

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