How to Cheer Someone Up

Having a friend who is down in the dumps can be painful to watch.  You wish the best for those closest to you, so you want to try your hardest to lift their spirits.  If your friend or family member is going through a rough time in their lives, you can make a difference in the way they feel.

Tip #1: Listen to Them

The first thing you should do is listen.  Let him or her open up as much as they need – sometimes just by expressing his or her emotions, they will feel better.  Be engaged in the conversation by focusing all of your attention on them.  Avoid texting, watching TV, talking about yourself, or trying to escape the situation. 

Tip #2: Offer Advice and Encouragement

After the conversation, you can try offering your perspective on the situation and give them any possible advice.  Your friend may be too close to the situation to take look at it from a larger context.  If you feel a different point of view would help him or her understand the issue and reduce their pain, then tell them to look at the overall picture.  Perhaps they were embarrassed by something insignificant or are just obsessing over a personal matter that they can’t work out how to let go of.  

Tip #3: Relate Your Similar Experiences

You can comfort them by relating to their specific problem. Even if you haven’t experienced their specific pain, you still know what it feels like to be hurt or sad.  If you have been in a similar situation in the past, let them know how you dealt with it.  Perhaps they are scared of what to do next and are seeking advice.  Be careful not to patronize or preach as that can put them down and make them resent you.

Tip #4: Stay Upbeat and Positive

Although you should empathize, avoid being sad yourself.  Emotions are contagious, so if you remain optimistic, it will positively affect your friend.  Try to comfort them with a smile or words of encouragement, don’t start crying or complaining yourself.  Remind that the past is out of anyone’s control and the only thing they can affect from here is the future.  They can actively take steps to improve their situation or make amends for a previous regret.  Life is fallible and so are we as humans, but taking note of the good things in our lives will work to lift our spirits.

Tip #5: Cheer Them Up and Comfort Them

Try to make them smile or laugh when you are done talking things through.  Sometimes a joke is what is needed to lighten the mood.  Be careful not to offend the person, so only make a joke if you know it is appropriate.  Laughing at a situation is not necessarily disrespectful; instead it helps us to see situations in a different light.  Offer to take them to a funny movie or out to dinner at a nice restaurant to take their mind off their problems.

Comfort him or her physically.  A hug or kiss can go a long way in making the person feel more secure.  A lollipop or candy will soothe a child very effectively, and an offer of chocolate will make any sad person smile (unless their weight is the reason they’re down!).  Reach out to them physically if you two have a romantic relationship or if you are close enough, and just hold them.  Lending your shoulder to cry on is a symbol of comfort because it is almost always effective.  

Whatever you do, know that just being with a person and taking time out of your day to spend with them makes a huge difference in your friend’s life.  Even if he or she doesn’t show it, know that any effort you take to make them feel better is appreciated.