How to Talk to Your Child About Their First Crush

For parents, it is easy to forget the feelings of your first crush.  After all, many years have passed since you felt those initial feelings of adoration toward your first real boyfriend or girlfriend at school.  It is important that you reconnect with your own memories of those feelings so you can talk with your child about what he or she is going through.

 

Don’t Interfere

 

To start with, it is very important that you don’t downplay their crush.  Even though you might think it’s nothing but puppy love, for the child, it is a very real and sometimes overwhelming feeling.  They are dealing with new emotions that are have no experience in handling, and it is important that you let the child know that you are there to listen.  Never make fun of your child when they express the feelings they have about their crush, even if they seem petty or immature to you.  If you do that, you risk alienating your child, and you can be sure that they aren’t going to come to you with other problems in the future.

 

Look For Tell-Tale Signs

 

Children develop their first crush at different points through their adolescence, and while they might not come right out and tell their parents about it, all the signs will be there.  You will notice behavior changes, and they might start talking about one of their classmates much more than they talk about their other friends.  Loss of appetite, swings in mood and unusual secretiveness are also hallmark signs of a crush.

 

Redirect Your Child’s Energy

 

If their crush is unrequited, they may appreciate your gentle guidance in dealing with their first feelings of rejection.  Again, it is important not to interfere in the events playing out, but simply to tell them that you are there if they need to talk to you.  You could also encourage them to channel any upsetting or negative feelings they may be experiencing by guiding them gently towards a new expressive hobby such as art, painting, sculpture classes or even poetry.  Many great works of art have been spawned by a spurned crush, and redirecting your child’s emotions into art is the best way you can help them work through their feelings.

 

A first crush is an exciting new time in your child’s development.  Always allow them to express their feelings and to enjoy their first feelings of puppy love.

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