How to Stop Your Child From Having Temper Tantrums

Children will often explore different moods to see how people react to their behavior.  If your child is frequently having a tantrum or doing another undesirable behavior, there are some steps that you can take to reinforce positive behaviors and discourage behavior that is inappropriate.

With a few targeted parenting strategies, you can find a better way to handle your child’s tantrum so that you don’t lose control and your child learns other replacement behaviors that are more acceptable.

Praise Good Behavior to Encourage it

Something to remember when you are parenting a child that has a tantrum is to reward your child’s good behavior so that you can teach him that this is the way to act when he wants something good.  You will also need to enforce consequences when your child does not meet your standards of behavior.

First, you should make a list of all of the behaviors that you want to see in your child and also make a list of those that you want to discourage.  When your child does something that you want him or her to do, you should give as much praise as you can.  You will also need to choose a reward and consequence system so that when your child does something good, you can reward them accordingly, and vice versa. It is important to make your punishments meaningful and stick to them.

If you can find an effective punishment, then your child will begin to avoid behaviors that get them punished, favoring those that produce rewards.  If you find that your chosen punishment does not work, move on and try something else.

Don’t Just Threaten Consequences, Follow Through

When your son or daughter throws a temper tantrum, don’t threaten them with a consequence and then back down after you have cooled down.  If your child always meets resistance and a set punishment whenever they have a tantrum, they will be less likely to continue doing the same thing in the future.

Talk to Your Child about How They Should Respond

If your child has a tantrum, talk to them about it, and explain other ways that they could act during a similar situation.  You can even make this fun by role-playing with your child so that you can give him or her an example of how they should act in the future.  You can use people are stuffed animals to reenact the behavior that you want to see.

Avoid Known Triggers

Find out what triggers your child to have a tantrum, and avoid those situations as much as possible.  For example, if your child is prone to having a tantrum at the grocery store if he or she feels you are taking too long shopping, arrange for someone else to watch your child while you shop so that they will not have the opportunity to have a tantrum at the store.  Or if this is not possible, try offering a reward for a tantrum-free visit, such as letting them pick out their favorite desserts from the freezer section, or taking them to the park or toy store afterwards.

You may also want to identify feelings that make your child act out in so that you can address that issue as well.  Art therapy can be very effective at controlling tantrums, as can teaching you child a musical instrument or some other expressive art form.