Dating 101: Should You Date a Friend?

You must have scrolled through best online dating sites to find the right match for you but have you wondered what it would be like to date your best friend?  Going from platonic friendship to intimate relationship is a huge step and with it comes great risk.  Are you willing to gamble your friendship that you have built over a lifetime, on a chance that you could connect on a romantic level?  Is it possible to be friends again after you’ve crossed that line?

Drawbacks in Dating a Friend

There are many drawbacks to dating a friend.  The most obvious is that if the relationship ends, you might have ruined what could have been a life-long friendship.  Just by bringing up any notion of romantic feelings, you change the dynamic of the relationship dramatically.  No longer are you able to discuss your personal love life, because you’ll now be aware that the other person has feelings for you and may be jealous of you talking about a new crush.  You will be unable to connect on the same level you could before.

Benefits of Dating a Friend

Now, let’s discuss the benefits of dating a friend.  Relationships that start off as friendships usually last longer because you already know each other so well. Unlike a stranger whom you meet on popular and best online dating sites, dating a friend has its own pros as you have seen all sides of each other – no worrying if he or she is pretending to be someone they are not.  There are no ‘big surprises.’  You know that he loves pizza but hates mushrooms and anchovies, which will avoid that embarrassing moment when you make him home-cooked mushroom-anchovy pizza on your third date.

Also, you have probably already established trust with one another.  You know how they react to different situations and how you should react to them when they get emotional.  Basically, throughout the friendship you have established a strong foundation of trust and respect for each other.

If you are already friends, then you two are compatible on many levels.  Adding romance to the picture is not likely to disrupt the fact that both of you have many similar interests.  Plus you probably know how to hold conversations with one another, how to resolve conflict, and what your personal, ethical and religious backgrounds are.  You already know how to resolve conflict with that person which is a huge step in any relationship.

How to Figure Out if You Should Ask

Before dating a friend, you need to figure out if you really like him or her.  Are your feelings genuine?  Keep in mind that the stakes are much higher when dating a friend versus someone new who you are starting from scratch with.  You must be certain that you are willing to take the risk before you roll the dice.

Be aware at all times what you could lose if your feelings are not reciprocated.  If he or she is not interested in your advances, you may scare them off from being your friend.  Plus, are you sure you even have feelings for your friend as a romantic partner?  Sometimes is easy to get caught up in emotions and think we are in love when in fact we are just lonely or have other unfulfilled needs.

In Conclusion

Starting out as friends may have some inherent risk, but if you truly have feelings for each other, then the potential reward is worth the gamble.  Being friends with someone first helps you understand their true character, whereas when two people start dating, they are rarely their true selves.

Having a solid foundation in any relationship is the best way to have a successful and long-lasting partnership and if you start off as friends, you are already half way there.