Negative thoughts. We all have them at some point. Maybe it is something along the lines of “I hate my job/ car/ marriage,” or maybe it is even something as simple as “Mondays are always the worst day of the week – I wonder what will go wrong today?”
No matter what your negative thought may be, it is important to realize that it carries with it a negative energy that you project on everyone around you. Let’s look at how you can deal with negative thoughts, and how you can even work to turn them into more positive thoughts without having to resort to expensive psychotherapists.
The worst thing you can do any time you have negative thoughts is to give them attention. When you pay attention to these thoughts and give them credence, you are actually serving to help them grow and fester, creating a cycle of negative thoughts that can be very hard to break. One of the best things you can do is to literally let the thought go. Observe it, acknowledge it, and let it pass you by. Meditate when you are feeling overly negative or try to connect with your spiritual side by reading, painting, listening to music or going for a walk in the park.
Another great trick when it comes to negative thoughts is to try to make them positive. Spend an entire day observing your thought and language patterns and take note of how many times you use negative words such as “can’t,” “don’t,” “shouldn’t,” and “hate.” Work to replace these words in your vocabulary by simply rewording the sentences. Instead of “I can’t take this anymore,” say “I can do this if I try.” Instead of “he shouldn’t talk to me like that,” say “he should talk to me more politely.”
Instead of dragging your partner to a relationship councilor when you have problems in your relationship, use your new ‘positive’ vocabulary and try to only use positive words and phrases when you talk to them. Throwing negative words at anyone, especially your partner, will only make them defensive and angry, and in no mood to talk to you or do anything you’re asking of them. Nobody likes to be attacked with negative words. If they feel you are complimenting or praising them, they will open up and allow you to truly communicate with them.
So for instance instead of saying “I hate it when you smoke and then leave me to clean up your dirty ashtrays, you’re such a pig,” say “I really appreciated it the other day when you emptied out your dirty ashtray without me even asking, the house smelled so much better afterward. Do you think you could do that more often?” You are much more likely to get a positive response – and positive action taken on your behalf in future.
You might be surprised to learn how much simply changing the negative aspects of your vocabulary can help turn negative thoughts into positive ones.