Men for the most part are upfront people. However, we sometimes have a hard time processing complex emotions, as you might have experienced in the past. For instance, my girlfriend asks me how me to tell her how I feel on a daily basis. My truthful response is usually, “I feel… like eating,” or a variation thereof.
When it comes to reflection or introspection, men hit a wall. The same goes for anything involving your feelings as well.
Men use words to respond literally, find solutions, or communicate as quickly as possible. Women, on the other hand, use language to connect with one another emotionally, to empathize and comfort. If you are getting frustrated trying to decode your man’s feelings, you’re not alone.
Here are the most common feelings your man has, and how to deal with them.
5. When He’s Sad
Men hate to show emotion because to us, it’s a sign of weakness. We resent pity because we want our own efforts to bring about results. Typically, sad men will be quiet. They become introverted and want to work out the issues in their own head rather than rely on others for help.
The next time he ignores you, don’t assume it’s because he is mad. Perhaps he is disappointed in something he couldn’t accomplish. The best way to help a man through a sad time is to give him needed space. Offer comfort by bringing him a drink or rubbing his back, maybe offer to take him to a movie to cheer him up.
Try not to dig too deep or tell him how to solve an issue. Even if you’re right, this can just aggravate him even more, by making him feel like he needed outside help to fix his problem. Men don’t want help. We are deeply competitive creatures. We want to be able to fix things by ourselves.
4. When He’s Frustrated
Men are more expressive with frustration than depression. Small frustrations are obvious to spot; this is where he will throw the remote on the ground because his sports team lost, or he’ll shout at his food when he accidentally burns it. Pent-up frustration can turn into anger if unchecked.
When your man is frustrated, avoid under any circumstances saying what my girlfriend says – “I told you so”. This is like pouring fuel on a flame. Typically, if the frustration isn’t directed towards you, it is a momentary feeling and will pass quickly. There is no need to even be a part of it. Let your man deal with his own frustration by himself. If you do feel threatened or his constant frustration is affecting your relationship, you should talk to him about it.
3. When He’s Embarrassed
Just like all embarrassed people, he doesn’t want others pointing it out. The worst thing you can do is direct attention to the thing he is embarrassed about – even if you catch him using your eyeliner. When he’s embarrassed he will either pretend like nothing happened or try to justify his actions by claiming he wanted to test out different Halloween costumes. Yes, even in June.
2. When He’s Appreciative
Your man appreciates you more than you know, he just has a hard time showing it. Where your girlfriend would hug you, say thanks, and cry, your man would express the same feelings with a nod or pat on the shoulder. Understand that men are prideful, so any time they show their appreciation to you, they put themselves in a vulnerable position. Any time your man makes himself vulnerable to you, rest assured that he cares about you.
1. When He’s in Love
Men wrestle with many issues when they are in love. The most obvious – actually saying ‘I Love You’ – is usually the most difficult one for him. When he’s in love he will do things that go against his instincts, like help you clean or take you to watch your favorite Reese Witherspoon movie rental. If he chooses to hang out with you over his friends, or he finally agrees to have dinner with your mom, then be sure he is truly in love.