Meeting the Children of Your New Girlfriend: Some Basic Tips for Guys

Even if you’re good with children, your girlfriend may have children who aren’t quite ready to meet her new boyfriend.  This can be uncomfortable for both of you, and if you’re trying to impress a girl, having children around half the time can be a little unnerving.  So how do you act when you meet the children of your new girlfriend?

The key is to have patience and understanding.  Children will tend to be protective of their mom at first.  Don’t laugh this off, show them that you take this seriously and respect their protective feelings.  If her children are pressing you with questions and being a little aggressive with their ‘interrogation’, accommodate them and don’t tense up or get angry.  This is a part of the process of them getting to know you, and they will usually relax once they know all the basic details about you that interest them.  This will probably involve a grilling on your favorite color, what you do for a living and why you wear such shiny shoes!

Let your girlfriend’s children get to know you at their own pace.  Don’t be offended if they don’t show much interest or if they act like you’re the most awful person in the world at first.  Her kids will come around with time.  As they get to know you and realize that you’re important to their mom, they’ll start warming up.

Younger children will usually be friendlier than older children, as they will have less resistance to letting someone new into their lives.  Older children, particularly teenagers, can be positively brutal toward a new boyfriend, so be ready and go in expecting this.  If it was your own mother, you would be equally protective and on-guard. 

Don’t try to bribe your girlfriend’s children for their affections by bringing gifts for them or constantly taking them to the toy store.  Just be open to their questions, and be yourself without trying to hide or feeling that what you are doing is wrong.  If you are in any way insincere or if you ‘act guilty’ about your relationship with their mother, her children will sense this in a heartbeat and may act worse towards you.  Remember that dating you will make their mother happy, and that she has chosen you as her prospective new partner.  You have just as much right to spend time with their mother as they do.

When discussing all this with your new girlfriend, make sure you discuss meeting her children beforehand, and ask what she expects of you, or even what you should expect.  Meeting a girlfriend’s children can be intimidating, but it’s a great opportunity to make a good impression on everyone, including your new girlfriend.  Show good manners and respect, and you should find that everything will turn out just fine.