How to Make a Relationship Work With a Younger Woman

Dating is a challenge filled with obstacles, mixed signals, and both highs and lows.  In order to find happiness, it’s important to be realistic about the kind of woman you want to date, and for you to be willing to put in the time and energy to make it work. 

If you prefer to date a younger woman (as many men do), there are certain things you can do to make the age difference seem insignificant.  For starters, a large age gap doesn’t have to matter in dating.  It will only matter if you let it matter.  It’s up to the couple involved to work to get to know each other, and learn to find common ground rather than looking at all the things that make you different because of your age.

For starters, make sure you know the reasons why you may be attracted to younger women, and vice versa.  A younger woman will likely be attracted to older men because she expects him to be in control and stable, so be aware that this is what she is looking for in you.  She may have had an absent father, or she may simply be more advanced in terms of intelligence and maturity than others her own age, and may find men who are the same age as her silly and immature.

You may be attracted to younger women because, on the positive side, you are drawn to their youthful sense of fun, lack of inhibition, and what you perceive to be their greater physical attractiveness.  On the negative side, you may be too insecure or feel too inexperienced to date women who are your own age.  Be completely honest with yourself about your reasoning before you launch into any such relationship.

If you want to make a relationship with a much younger woman will work, you have to be aware that this will not be an equal relationship in terms of interests, goals, and financial status.  You will have to change your way of thinking in order to make things more even between the two of you.

For instance, make sure you respect her boundaries.  A younger woman may not want to be called as frequently as an older woman would.  A woman in her teens or twenties will most likely be interested in going out, shopping, going on vacation, having new experiences, and hanging out with friends.  It’s unlikely that she will have much money, and unless she already has a great career underway when you meet her, she may wind up leaning on you as a source of support. 

If you are in your thirties and want to date a woman who is ten or more years younger than you, be aware that she is likely to have little or no interest in buying a house, moving in together, discussing the pros and cons of taking a daily multivitamin, planting a vegetable patch, diversifying her stocks and bonds, or investing in her 401k.  You may be seen as a ‘granddad’ if your conversation revolves around any of these things, so do yourself a favor and watch some TMZ, make sure you keep up to date on all the summer blockbusters, and at least flip through some celebrity gossip magazines at the bookstore once in a while.

All joking aside, make sure you know where she stands with regards to marriage, children etc, and respect her feelings. Be aware that she may not even want to talk or think about these things, and know that pressuring her into marriage or any kind of commitment may simply scare her off. 

If you find yourself wanting to actually marry a much younger woman, be cautious about how you tell her.  You have the dating experience to know that she may be ‘the one’ for you.  She, unfortunately, doesn’t yet have that experience or that self-knowledge, and may react negatively.

Whatever you decide, it’s a cliche but you should always be yourself, because if she’s the one you’ve been looking for, she’ll love who you really are.  Even though you’re older, that doesn’t mean you can’t have fun during your relationship.  Remember, the woman you are dating wants to get to know you, so it’s important to allow her to do that. 

Dating a younger woman is really no different than dating women of your own age.  Have fun and enjoy getting to know one another to see if the relationship can work, regardless of her age.